Outside My Comfort Zone

I gave a speech last week, a speech on self-publishing to about 25 fellow Clare residents This was an unusual occurrence for me; I haven't given a real speech since my retirement 12 years ago. (I did take part in two panel discussions in 2008). By now, I've retreated further into my introverted silence and my green leather recliner.

To say that I was nervous would be understatement. I was terrified. For one thing, I can no longer stand for long, so I had to ask for a stool. Of course I got one. I was asked if I wanted to give a Power Point presentation, but I explained that Power Point was just gaining ground when I retired, and I've had no need to learn how to use it (actually, I'd like to, but I don't have it on my copy of Microsoft software -- it's not the professional edition).

So how did it go? Surprisingly well. I actually recycled most of the material from my other blog, Write Your Life! which I no longer work on. In fact, my articles on self-publishing won awards from IWPA and NFPW a couple of years back. My audience seemed interested. Perhaps I'm finally getting my old message about the need for elders to write their life stories across. I even had some questions to answer! I hope those who congratulated me on a good presentation were being sincere. I'm neither well-known nor popular here (partly by choice, partly by circumstance), so this experience left me somewhat elated. If I get a small amount of movement toward a community of writers, I'll be happy, So far, I've inspired two residents to write Rictameters, my favorite poetic form, so there may be hope.

Now if I can only think of some ideas for another self-published book--I really enjoy the process. Speaking? Not so much, but at least I've proved to myself that I can still do it.

It's Nice to be Mentioned!

I've mentioned before how much I enjoy seeing my name in print. I especially enjoy it now, since I've not been actively writing or working or doing much of anything in the literary field, or any other field, lately. In this month's The Writer magazine, Jenny Rough mentions this blog and my poetry book (Elder Expectations) in a short paragraph in her article "The Craft Welcomes Writers of all Ages" on page 12. The article emphasizes that writing is something anyone can do, regardless of physical fitness, age limits, or age requirements. Her examples mention a writer who began writing at 14, all the way up to one who is still writing past 100. At 78, I'm closer to the oldest than to the youngest, of course.

As Rough mentions, I have "made it [my] mission to encourage seniors to write." I've had limited success in this effort, although I have encouraged at least two residents of my senior residence to write rictameters (my favorite poetic form) and a few to contribute to the resident newsletter I edit. I'll soldier on in this effort, and even try to contribute to this blog more often. I can't entirely have run out of things to say, lame though some of them may be. A writer never really quits, I guess.

Anyway, Thanks, Jenny, for letting me see my name in print once more. Now if more people would buy my books . . .

Further Reflections on the IWPA Awards Luncheon

As I wrote earlier, I was fortunate enough to receive a first-place award from the Illinois Woman's Press Association Saturday at the annual awards luncheon at the Union League Club. The award was for editing The Clarion, our resident newsletter here at The Clare at Watertower. Of course I was pleased by the award, but my real inspirations from the occasion probably came from the beautiful paintings in the Club's main dining room, and more importantly, from the student journalists' awards.

Each year, the organization encourages high school newspaper sponsors to encourage their students to enter their best efforts for judging. I was impressed by this year's crop of winners. The young people were quiet, respectful, and well-dressed for the occasion: no baggy pants or holey jeans in sight. There was at least one short, short mini skirt, but the wearer had just the figure and legs to wear one. I'm not so stodgy as to object to such apparel at that age; there will be time for sedate business suits later. Some of the male winners did, indeed, wear conservative suits and neckties.

In an age when the newspapers and TV broadcasts are filled with gang crime and teen shootings, it was encouraging to see such an attractive lot of highschoolers. Granted, these were mostly suburbanites, not Chicago ghetto dwellers, but it is encouraging to see students who care about writing and do it well. Perhaps if more writing were encouraged, the crime rate would decline even in depressed nieghborhoods. In fact, today's Chicago Tribune featured poetry written by residents of a local juvenile detention facility. There's nothing like writing to free a person's thoughts and encourage sharing.

I've long encouraged writing for everyone, from children to senior citizens, so I'm happy to find a bit of evidence that there may be something to that idea. Perhaps it's because writing promotes thinking that it works so well!

Awards Again!

Every year at this time, the Illinois Woman's Press Association holds its annual awards luncheon. In each of the past three years, I've received first-place awards for one of my books: Reinventing Myself, Seniorwriting, and Elder Expectations. I've also received awards for this blog and for various individual blog posts and book reviews.

I've been writing much less lately, so I was surprised yesterday by a first-place award for two issues of The Clare's resident newsletter, The Clarion. The category (one of many) was "Publications Edited Regularly by Entrant," a new category for me.

The judge (not an IWPA member, but a member of the local writing community) commented as follows: "It's clear this is a "home-made" newsletter and labor of love and, despite the fact that its audience are residents and not a professional organization, its features and stories are really interesting, the photos well-chosen, and the organization and content informative and reflective of the active, interesting, accomplished residents." I suspect that this is the first senior residence newsletter entered in the contest (most are newsletters for professional associations), so I was elated. Perhaps this will draw attention to the fact that we seniors are still alive and kicking, and that seniors (the many contributors to The Clarion) can write.

I plan to share this honor with my staff and all the residents of The Clare who have contributed their talents and their stories. For me, this is a labor of love. Now The Clarion goes on to the National Federation of Press Women's national contest, where it will probably be overshadowed by the professional organizations' newsletters, but I believe I've made my point. I'm so glad I began this newsletter, now in its second year. It gives me a sense of purpose and achievement.

Writing careers, even those as unprofitable as mine, need never stop. There is at least one IWPA member (the organization is 125 years old) who is ninety, and several are in their eighties. Write on!

Censorship Rears its Ugly Head

I nearly resigned from my unpaid job as editor of the resident newsletter at The Clare. Why? That old bugaboo, censorship. I finallly decided that it was just the nature of the place I live, or Catholic tradition, or narrow-mindedness, so after I cooled down, I changed my mind. I guess my initial reaction was dictated not by the minor incident itself, but by the fact that the changes (which I didn't make myself) destroyed the spacing of the whole newsletter, leaving some confusing juxtapositions in a few articles.

So what happened? A resident submitted a little short-short story involving a seedy character who used two "bad" words. I don't use or recommend profanity, but I've always thought that it sometimes deserves a place in fiction, within moderation. Seedy characters don't talk like college professors. As a matter of fact, Illinois' former governor illustrated on wiretaps that even public officials--and their wives--sometimes use filthy language, far worse that what was involved here. I've always been against censorship in fiction, ever since I read about the Huckleberry Finn case. I couldn't believe that a book I consider one of the best was taken from library shelves.

Anyway, the present case involved only two words, used one time each. One was indeed offensive, although I think it has lost its original meaning to become just a very negative insult. The other word was so common that I never suspected it would offend anyone. It was just a common word for excrement. Would a killer call anyone a "piece of excrement"? I doubt that he would.

I argued a bit with the building staff (responsible for printing the newsletter), but to no avail. It wasn't a great story anyway, but I believe in residents' right to free speech. What are those in charge trying to protect us from, anyway? I'd never print a profanity-filled story, but two words used in an appropriate fictional context? Come on! Lighten up! We may be old, but we're still able to think for ourselves.

Another Honor for this Blog!

I just discovered that the Story Circle Network featured this blog in its July National e-Letter. Here is the article:

"Marlys' award-winning blog is titled "Never too Late! In the very beginning, she makes her intention plain with a quotation from George Eliot: 'It is never too late to be who you might have been.' In every blog post, Marlys opens up another angle of vision on "never too late." She retired from college teaching in 1999, began serious writing in 2005 (at age 73), and published her first book not long after. Five months ago, she moved to a high-rise retirement community, where she immediately started a resident newsletter (of course!) Marlys continues to write, win recognition for her work, and keep her commitment to the blog world, documenting her progress through the years and giving us all a wonderful lesson in how to age consciously and deliberately. Thanks, Marlys, for your gifts to us!"

Check out Story Circle Network at www.storycircle.org.

Honors and Awards--Again!

Spring seems to be honors and awards time for many organizaations, associations, and volunteer groups. At least four of us here at The Clare have received awards this spring, and there may be more.

This year, I was again surprised and honored to receive awards in the Illinois Woman's Press Association's Mate E. Palmer Communications Contest. Multiple awards were presented at a luncheon yesterday at the Union League Club. I had been notified that I was a winner, but I was expecting not much more than honorable mention this year; I did less writing than usual in 2008.

I was pleasantly surprised to receive two firsts and one second on my three entrees. Lightening struck a third time when my third book, Elder Expectations: My Life in Rictameters won first in the "Creative Verse: Book or Chapbook of Poetry" category. The other two won firsts in other categories in 2007 and 2008. So now I'm not only a writer; I'm a poet! Now if the literary world would only take note. This book has sold even less well than Reinventing Myself and Seniorwriting. I know of only one person outside my family who has read all three of my books: The Clare's Dining Room Manager. Thanks, Carl. I'm glad I donated a copy of each book to The Clare Library.

Here are the anonymous judge's comments:

"Poet Styne ably summarizes the strengths and joys of her work in the final poem of the tome. Lovely!" (I'm not sure that a 50-some page book qualifies as a tome, but then I am a woman of few words.)

Of course you're not likely to have read or remembered that final poem, so here it is:

My Rictameters

Great art?
No, not these poems
Of mine, and yet if they
Just make you ponder, wonder, think
Or dream, consider your own life or write
A story, draw or paint the truth,
Learn who or what you are,
These poems inspire
Great art.

My other first place award was for "In Defense of Self-Publishing"--Parts I & II" published in my other blog, "Write Your Life!" The category was "Writing for the Web: For Hobby or Special Interest Sites."

The comments on this:

"The author uses the platform well to successfully create an easy-to-read explanation of self-publishing. With clear and focused writing the author put forth good effort in content styling for emphasis, scannability for reading and linking to provide context and additional resources. Excellent potential for more interacftivity through chats or issue focused discussions boards."

You can find these entries here:

http://seniormemoirs.blogspot.com/2008/08/priorities-choices-and-opportunities-in.html
http://seniormemoirs.blogspot.com/2008/08/matter-of-choices-in-defense-of-self.html

Finally, my second place award was for two book reviews here on "Never too Late!": "Aging, Life, and Death: A Book Review" (on Where River Turns to Sky, by Gregg Kleiner (Avon 1996; Perennial paperback 2002) and "Realities of Alzheimer's: A Book Review" (on Measure of the Heart: a Father's Alzheimer's, a Daughter's Return, by Mary Ellen Geist (Springboard 2008). Find these reviews by clicking on the "Book Reviews" label toward the bottom of the sidebar. The category was "Writing for the Web: Commentary (reviews)."

These may be small-time awards, but they make me feel good. Never underestimate the power of honors and awards to make people--especially elders--feel appreciated.

Copyright 2009 by Marlys Marshall Styne

Success! The Clarion has Been Published

I wrote earlier about my efforts to begin a residents' newsletter here at The Clare. I'm happy to report that the first issue of The Clarion has come out to raves from residents and staff alike. I received an ovation from the exercise class and congratulations from nearly everyone, including the doorman and the desk clerk. I have a new feeling of elation!

So how did it turn out? There are five pages; participation is limited thus far, so there's too much about me in this issue, but people are now interested. This issue features a short article on moving to The Clare, a report from the chair of the Dining Committee, and introductions to five resident artists and their works, from sculpture to drawing to embroidery. The resident interview is my own self-interview (no others were available yet), and four residents receiving honors and awards from various organizations this spring were mentioned. I even promoted the June 6-7 Printers Row Lit Fest (formerly Printers Row Book Fair).

So far, I have found an art editor and seven interested participants, although not all have had time to contribute yet. I'm planning a staff meeting on June 2 for the June 15 issue. I'm optimistic about the future of The Clarion; I almost feel like I have a job again, and I love it!

A Writing Challenge: Winter

As winter seems to keep its grip on northern climes, how about some writing about winter? I've issued a challenge on my other blog, "Write Your Life!" (www.seniormemoirs.blogspot.com) to write rictameters or other poems, but prose musings about winter are welcome too. Let's write our way into spring!

How about some descriptions of winter in those warmer havens where some of you live? Or write about why you love (or hate) winter. Memories of previous winters are welcome, too.

Another Plug for Senior Writing

Steve Gurney, age 43, founder of the Guide to Retirement Living Sourcebook, recently lived for a week at the Paul Spring Retirement Community in Alexandria, Virginia (see my earlier post). His goal was to gain first-hand experience in order to "help families better understand this important transition."I expressed reservations about the usefulness of such a short, temporary stay, quite unlike the generally final move we elders make. Still, I admire Steve's purpose. You can read all about it at http://www.retirement-living.com/publisher/.

One point that Steve Gurney made especially interested me: "The activities director of Paul Spring had prepared a “scrapbook” that includes a one page biography of most of the residents of the community. This was fascinating to read, and it gave me an easy way to engage some residents in conversation. Ask if there is something like this in communities you might be considering – I have seen very elaborate community biographies created by residents."

Of course I have been promoting senior life story writing for some time, but I especially like the idea of senior community biographies or autobiographies. They would make getting acquainted much easier. So far, no takers at The Clare, but perhaps I can get something started.

Self-Analysis Time!

Why haven't I been writing blog posts lately? Of course I was too ill to do anything last week, but that was only a temporary problem. Here I am living in the senior community of my dreams, yet I've been depressed. Perhaps I'll call what's wrong with me "inertia." I've suffered from clinical depression off and on for most of my life, so it's time to come up with a new label for what's wrong with me.

One dictionary definition of inertia is this: "Resistance or disinclination to motion, action, or change." That's my disease, all right. It's like I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I guess part of the problem has to do with money. To move here with my condo unsold, I had to sign a large promissory note for nearly half a million dollars, due March 9. I had visions of being kicked out of my new apartment, although things weren't really that bad. Plan B would have been financially disastrous, but at least there was a Plan B.

So what happened? The condo finally sold, although at a nonprofitable price. The closing is on February 27. With my savings and the condo payment, I'll be able to pay off the note. Good news, right? So why have I not been elated and energetic? For one thing, the business manager of The Clare made an error on a bill she sent; my debt had mysteriously grown. I just got that straightened out yesterday.

After the necessary week off, I went back to my three-times-a-week physical therapy on Monday. It's now more painful than ever. I'm glad I had knee replacement surgery, but it's cerrtainly taken a toll on my feeling of well-being. Will I ever be able to walk gracefully and easily again?

I suppose another thing bothering me has been the finality of moving into a senior residence, even though this is a very nice one. Yes, there are activities, but none that especially appeal to me. The building is not fully occupied yet, so things are just getting started. Have I done much to help? No. What have I done? Too many puzzles and computer games. Some reading, but not enough.

So there you have my "disease": inertia. This is my promise to begin doing something about it. For one thing, I'm expecting a visit from my brother and my niece next week. I look forward to that. Spring is on the way (you'd never know it from today's Chicago weather), and I'll start getting out more.

Finally, I plan to take my own advice: write. Writing helped me reinvent myself in 2006; perhaps it's time for a new reinvention in 2009. Remember my March, 2008, rictameter-a-day project on my other blog, "Write your Life!"? It's nearly March again, so I hope to come up with a new rictameter project. Stay tuned. And I hope to have more to say about senior living here.

Blogging: the Magic, the Mystery, the Power

Yesterday I was honored to participate in a four-woman panel at the Illinois Woman's Press Association's Fall Kickoff Breakfast. The topic was "Blogging: the Magic and the Mystery."

About a month ago, when I was asked to speak, my first reaction was, "Who, me?" My last public speech was my Wright College commencement address in 1996, and my life since retirement has been rather solitary. However, this chance to speak about my blogs and Elderblogging and writing in general gave me a much-needed lift to help me forget my coming knee replacement surgery.

One of the best parts of this well-attended event was listening to my fellow panelists and the lively discussion that followed our presentations. The able moderator was Barbara Iverson, of the journalism faculty at Chicago's Columbia College. She is the Vice President of Technology for the Association of Women Journalists and a very knowoledgeable blogger at http://www.currentbuzz.org/.

Cindy Kurman Barrie is CEO of Kurman Communications, a public relations agency. She was named to the today's Chicago Woman Hall of Fame in 2003. Her blog http://www.gotbuzzatkurman.com/ is mainly about her firm's clients. A sidebar contains links to Kurman Clients in the News.

Mary T. Wagner is Assistant District Attorney for Sheboygan County, Wisconsin, but her first love is journalism. Her blog, www.runningwithstillettos.com, is a collection of essays about family and many other things. She descrubes the bliog as an archive of her essays, her legacy for her family. She has published many of her essays in her book Running With Stillettos: Living a Balanced Life in Dangerous Shoes.

I welcomed this occasion not only to speak, but to discover the wide variety of and interest in blogs in the writing community. Whether commercial or personal, blogs offer a wonderful way to record our thoughts. As Anna Quindlen wrote, "Bloggers old and young know that we are on the bleeding edge of a renaissance in personal writing. Our blogs will become as important to our current and future loved ones as handwritten letters were to people of another era."

Here is the conclusion of my speech: "If and when the time comes when you are bored, isolated, or physically unable to pursue many actiities, blogging can provide a connection to the world. That's what it is for me. If you are too young and busy to worry about such things now, at least you already understand the power of writing. Share that idea with your older relatives and friends. Blogging is satisfying fun for everyone. Happy blogging!"

Thanks, IWPA, for helping me improve my connection to the world.

Copyright 2008 by Marlys Marshall Styne

Cubs Win! But the News is Not All Good

Yesterday, I explained the annoying uncertainties of my life. One bright spot is the Chicago Cubs' chance at the playoffs and the World Series. Well, the Cubs won, and they are now NL Central champs!

Yesterday would have been a good day, except that my main computer crashed and was hauled away for analysis. I now have to use my quirky laptop, and that's not easy. I guess I'm overdue for a new desktop computer, but I hate to buy one right now. We'll see.

If I can persuade my laptop to keep connecting to my wireless network (it sometimes refuses to do so), I'll keep blogging, but don't be surprised if I skip more days than usual. And the Cubs do play again today, as do the Chicago Bears. Now if my TV set just keeps working!

Facing Knee Replacement Surgery

Well, it's finally going to happen. I've had "bad knees," or at least one, since the 1980's. I had arthroscopic surgery in 1984, and after a temporary respite, things just keep getting worse. My left knee eventually became just as sore and disfunctional as the right. The problems, of course, are arthritis and advancing age. My late mother had the same problems. I've had all the exercises and therapy, but I've finally reached the stage where walking is nearly impossible, even with the stiff-legged gait I've developed over time (no wonder I tend to fall down occasionally).

Anyway, I finally got up the courage to talk to my primary care physician about this (she had been aware of my condition for years, and had urged me to see a knee surgeon), and this time I listened. This week, I actually followed her advice. The x-rays looked awful, and surgery was strongly recommended. It's that or a wheelchair.

So finally I'm scheduled for double knee replacements on October 6. There are a lot of problems, one being that since I live alone far from family and without available close friends, I don't have the usual caregivers. I'll need to move to a rehab center for longer than usual. My doctor has promised to arrange such things. Also, my move to The Clare is tentatively scheduled for mid- to late December, and my condo hasn't been sold yet. That's too much uncertainty for me. Not to mention that I'll be grounded for my 76th birthday on October 12.

As usual, I need to look at the brighter side: I have a few good (although busy) friends who will help if and when they can. They are concerned, as are my far-away relatives. I'm not as isolated as I thought. Also, I hope to have computer access fairly soon after the operation, so I should have a lot to write about. I've heard a lot of stories from people who have had such operations, and most have been positive. I'll get through this; now it's the waiting that bothers me. Time to get a lot of things done! I'll blog my way through this, trying to follow my own advice about "Writing to heal."

Copyright 2008 by Marlys Marshall Styne

The Importance of Elder Storytelling

I've written a great deal both here and in "Write your Life!" about the importance of life stories, both the stories we write about our own lives and those we write about our loved ones. In an article in the September 4 Chicago Sun-Times, Maureen O'Donnell wrote a story entitled "My father's stories inspired me to write" that reinforced my belief that we need to listen to our parents and grandparents' stories before it's too late, and either help them to record and/or write down those stories or write them down ourselves. Such stories are too valuable to lose!

The article begins, "My father, whose storytelling made me want to be a writer, listens to stories these days because he can do longer tell them. He is very sick." Her father was born in Ireland in 1921, and his stories of life in "the old country" were a form of time travel for reporter O'Donnell. She mentions a few of his fascinating experiences: Irish country life involving bringing in the cows, making hay, and selling turf; World War II in London; school life; seeing American cowboy movies.

I hope that Ms. O'Donnell has written or will write more about her father. "With his sharp, probing mind, given the same access to education that I had, Dad could have become a professor of history. Instead, he gave his love of knowledge to his four children, and, by extension, his eight grandchildren."

Read Ms. O'Donnell's article, and think about your own relatives. Don't let their fascinating life stories be lost.

http://www.suntimes.com/news/otherviews/1144386,CST-EDT-maureen04.article#

Why I Write

As anyone who reads either of my blogs knows, I love to write, and both blogs occasionally feature mentions of my three books. So is this about making money? Hardly. My books are self-published (POD) books, and that makes them immediately suspect in some circles. Anyone aware of the current state of publishing will understand.

Anyway, my books are hardly best-sellers, and my blogs are not well-known producers of advertising revenue. So why do I bother writing? I suppose it's partly because I am old and retired and have a lot of free time, but there are other reasons. First, I was overjoyed to discover the power and joy of writing, and I want to share my enthusiasm with my fellow seniors. I've made it my mission to encourage everyone to write his or her life story, not necessarily for the public, but for family and friends. Whatever your wealth or social status, you can leave a legacy of your valuable experiences and memories.

Then there's the matter of recognition. Since I have no children or grandchildren and few relatives, I sometimes feel disconnected from the world. I suspect that's a common feeling for seniors, at least for those of us who live alone. It's easy to wonder whether anyone knows we're still alive.

Yesterday, my email contained a really encouraging acknowledgement that I had reached someone. My online friend, Lydia, of the Writerquake blog, (http://www.writerquake.blogspot.com/), wrote this, in part, about my first book, Reinventing Myself: Memoirs of a Retired Professor (Infinity 2006):

"[It's] an exciting travel adventure, a real love story, a condensed but highly interesting autobiography, the wisdom of a professor, a frank discussion of aging – especially concerning a woman alone – and a frank but vulnerable glance from a breast cancer survivor. [There are] picturesque descriptions of condos and classrooms, a neighborhood bar and long thoughtful walks, quirky cats and the value of poetry and writing, tours on every continent, and the expectations for a final residence, where, any careful reader would assume, a framed needlepoint picture of Anne Hathaway’s Cottage will make its home."

At the risk of sounding egotistical, I'll say, "What a wonderful, well-written summary!" Thanks, Lydia. It's great to be recognized and appreciated. I guess it's the hope of receiving such feedback (or any at all) that keeps me writing. Let me hear from more of you.

To see Lydia's complete message, go to http://seniormemoirs.blogspot.com/2008/08/gracious-words-of-praise-for-one-of-my.html.

Update, August 12, 2008:

Another blogging friend, Barbara J. Kirby Davis of The Senerity Room, has just reviewed this book. Here is an excerpt:

"I've just finished reading Reinventing Myself, Memoirs of a Retired Professor by Marlys Marshall Styne and LOVED IT!!! Her book was a pleasant surprise--filled with honest accounts of a life well-lived."

For more of Barbara's review, go to http://theserenityroom.blogspot.com/2008/08/reinventing-myself-book-review.html.

Blog News and Statistics

One bit of interesting news and a few statistics:

1. A second favorable review of my little poetry book, Elder Expectations: My Life in Rictameters just appeared on Pat's Place blog. To read it, go to http://atpatsplace.blogspot.com/2008/07/interesting-book.html.

2. Sometime yesterday, the total number of hits or page views for "Never too Late!" passed 25,000. Since that covers the period beginning September 26, 2006, it's certainly no record. However, that seems like a lot to me for a non-commercial blog. It's gratifying to think about so many people encountering my blog. It gladdens this senior's heart. I guess I find joy in simply things, surely a good trait at my age. As I've said before, blogging is fun!

A New Review of "Elder Expectations: My Life in Rictameters" is just out. Find it here:

http://www.storycirclebookreviews.org/reviews/expectations.shtml

Another Press Release: "Elder Expectations"

To see the new press release for my poetry book, Elder Expectations: My Life in Rictameters, go to my other blog, "Write Your Life!"



http://seniormemoirs.blogspot.com/2008/07/another-press-release-elder.html

Link to the release on PRweb:
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2008/07/prweb1077614.htm

Something Irritating You? See My Other Blog

See "Write Your Life!" for an interesting excercise in complaining. http://seniormemoirs.blogspot.com/2008/07/what-bothers-you-write-about-it.html