A May Update and a Sad Commentary on Aging

In case anybody is wondering, my cracked kneecap has healed, more or less, and my enforced confinement ended with the month of March. It was a rather depressing time, but somehow, since I had little to do anyway, it didn't matter that much. Anyway, I'm basically O.K. and back to my routine, slight as it is. My doctor said everyone living in a senior facility needs at least three regular obligations to keep life interesting. I have them: my Thursday morning volunteer duties at the Washington Street information desk at the Chicago Cultural Center, my regular Sunday brunch with three fellow residents, and my monthly editorial meeting and the editing process for The Clarion, our resident newsletter. I'm afraid I'm no longer able to take long walks (I haven't been for quite some time), but I'm not entirely a hermit. Of course there are numerous activities here at The Clare, but not all of them interest me. I'd like to add a regular blogging schedule, but so far, I don't seem to have much to write about. Perhaps I'll try harder.

So here goes: last week, the Chicago Tribune published an article entitled, "This Old Soldier Won't Just Fade Away: Pushing 90, vet battles to stay in apartment where he and his wife have lived for years." The story affected me, because I've done a lot of thinking about the plights of old people, many of whom may not be as fortunate as I am.

The veteran in question and his wife have lived in a tiny apartment in a Near North high-rise building for a decade, and now the management wants them out by May 31. The issue apparently is not financial; one stated issue is bedbugs, which the vet claims came from extermination efforts next door. However, the real reason seems to be doubts that the couple, childless, can continue to live in a building that doesn't offer social services or help of any kind. The man's wife is described as having "cognitive impairment" and was found roaming the building halls alone and confused after her husband was briefly hospitalized after a winter fall.

I suspect that situations like this are not rare. According to the couple's lawyer, the old soldier feels disrespected, and doesn't want to move. The management has switched from forced eviction to an offer of a month-to-month lease continuation, allowing their lawyer to find the couple more suitable living quarters, but they don't want to move. With military pride, the vet defends his years of military service and points with pride at the mementos hanging on the walls.

It's impossible not to have synpathy for this man and others like him. What is the answer for old people without relatives to watch over them? Where do individual rights end? Aging is inevitable, and cognitive impairment is more common than we like to believe. So what should happen to old people like this? That's a very big problem our society must face, and those of us with the foresight and the resources to avoid such a situation should consider ourselves lucky. One of the problems of aging seems to be resistance to change, and change is inevitable, in more ways than one.

The Joys of City Living

Occasionally I stop whatever I'm doing (if anything) to look around and think about the advantages of living on the 35th floor of a highrise building, with a Lake Michigan view.

This has been a good week so far: it's time for the Tall Ship festival, which brings 20 beautiful sailing vessels to Navy Pier. While other tall buildings block my view of nearby Navy Pier, I was able to observe part of a parade of the ships on Tuesday evening: all sizes and shapes, the ships seemed to be reminders of a romantic past. They are very impressive.

To make matters even better, I heard the sound of fireworks about nine o'clock Tuesday night, and again Wednesday. For once, the fireworks were directly in my line of sight over the lake, and they were spectacular. I hope they continue every night. There's something about elaborate fireworks displays that makes me feel good. Yes, there's "medicine" in living near the lake.

Baseball: Sign of Spring

Baseball: Sign of Spring: A Rictameter


Cubs play

At Wrigley, first

Home game, exciting day.

They often fail and make us wait

Until it's time to say, "Wait 'til next year."

But still we watch and hope "Cubs Win!"

Will echo through the stands.

A sign of spring?

Cubs play.

Copyright 2010 by Marlys Marshall Styne

There's Something About Afternoon Tea

An old friend treated me to afternoon tea at the Peninsula Hotel for my birthday yesterday. Somehow, afternoon tea brings to mind hats and white gloves and society ladies wasting time on quiet afternoons, but of course things have changed.

While everyone was well, if casually, dressed on this Monday afternoon (no hats or white gloves in sight), there was still an air of elegance in the large room. Even from the second floor, the Chicago view was nice, but it doesn't equal the view from my own thirty-fifth floor apartment two blocks away.

The Peninsula is described as a "super luxury" hotel, actually quite typical of hotels in this area. I couldn't afford to stay there. Still, this little taste of luxury made me feel good. A small string emsemble played soft music from a balcony, and the service was attentive.

The food was served on the usual three-tier arrangement of plates, and it all looked very good. There were small sandwiches, mini-quiches, pastries, and of course scones with all the usual accompaniments. The tea assortment was immense, and not knowing the difference, except between black and green, I asked what the most popular green tea was. I no longer remember the name, but it was good tea.

The room was well-populated, but not crowded, and I could carry on a conversation with my friend quite easily, in spite of my hearing loss and the fact that my new hearing aids have not arrived yet. My friend has similar hearing problems, although she's more than ten years younger than I. She's still active as a teacher (at Columbia College, Chicago) and a writer. Her world is quite different than mine now, and it was interesting to reminisce.

I guess I'm quite isolated from the local social scene, so this tea was a chance to see how other people live. For one thing, they must be rich. Tea for one cost $38! I guess elegance is fine once in a while, especially since my friend paid. I've survived another birthday, and I hope I'll be mobile enough to celebrate more of them.

Taking My Driving Test

My birthday was fast approaching (actually, it's tommorow), and one effect of dreading the aging process seemed to be postponing renewal of my driver's license. As the deadline loomed, I began to analyze my reluctance.

Despite my accident-free record, I could not just renew via email or take the vision test and a new picture and get an extension of four more years, as usual. I had to take a driving test, which meant that I could not renew my license downtown, but had to drive to the far north side. For obvious reasons, no road tests are given in Chicago's crowded Loop.

There were other issues, too. Do I really need to own a car? It's expensive, thanks to insurance, licensing, and parking costs, and I drive as little as once a week. Am I an old and incompetent driver? I hope not. The "giving up driving" dilemma seems to hit all elders sooner or later, but I'm only turning 77! I still hope to know when it's time to give up, since I don't have a family to decide for me. Anyway, I finally decided to take the test and see what happened.

I realized that, as far as I can remember, I had only taken one road test, on the occasion of my originally getting a license. I started driving later in life than many do, but that happened in the late 1950's. No wonder I was terrified! Would I be asked to parallel park (something I've never been good at)? Would the examiner make me nervous? I approached the exam with anxiety.

The first positive thing I noticed was that senior citizens were allowed to go to the head of the line in the crowded facility where we took our vision tests. I passed that, but what I feared most was still ahead. After a fairly long wait in a line of cars, I was relieved to see a seemingly nice young woman enter my car for the test. It turned out that she was, indeed, nice and non-threatening.

The good news is that the test was easy. I'm good at using turn signals, stopping at stop signs, and observing traffic. I didn't have to parallel park. I managed to avoid the cones when I had to back up (something I don't do particulartly well). I passed, had a ridiculously bad photo taken, and soon had my new license good for four years. I was elated!

By the time my license runs out next time, I'll be over eighty (if still alive), and I may well be ready to give up driving by then. I've already vowed to make my 2003 Mini Cooper my last car. It's easy to get along without a car here in the middle of the city, but I guess I had to prove that I can still drive. I'm glad things turned out as they did.

Some Uncomfortable Thoughts about Elders

This is the tranquil view from my window on a recent weekend. However, I have felt less calm since I got a disturbing phone call yesterday. It seems that the son of one of my fellow residents took issue with the commentary written by one of our black residents in the September issue of our newsletter, The Clarion, and wrote an angry letter to The Clare's acting Executive Director.

In my view, the commentary was liberal but inoffensive, and it was accompanied by an invitation to submit opposing views; still, the letter writer stated that he didn't want to find this newsletter at his mother's or father's door again. That's all right with me, but I was led to some uncomfortable thoughts. Assuming that this complaint originated with a resident rather than his or her son, have elders become so set in their ways that they cannot abide controversy? Can't they accept opposing views, or anything they don't agree with? Whatever happened to our democratic urge to fire off letters to the editors when we want to criticize something? Do we have at least one closet racist, or at best an arch conservative, in our midst?

I was reminded of TV images of seniors protesting imaginary "death squads" in the health care debate and those praising Medicare while objecting to all government involvement. Whatever happened to logic and fairness? While I have found Clare residents to be generally intelligent and fair-minded, I was caught off guard by that letter. How I wish that the resident involved would identify himself or herself to me and/or write a scathing criticism of the article.

I am a supporter of freedom of the press, including senior newsletters, and this incident, plus the earlier censorship fiasco, made me wonder if we elders are supposed to be sheeplike followers of whatever is the majority position or the senior residence management's view? Without free speech and a free press, life is not worth living, and that is true for elders as much as it is for the young. Let's have intelligent controversy involving logic rather than anger! As long as we have the ability to think, let's do so, and let no young people be surprised to discover disagreements among seniors. Assuming that we all are --or should be-- alike is very dangerous.

When is it too Late to Plan Ahead?

During her later years, my late mother (she lived to age 95) often quoted one of her fellow elders: "I don't even buy green bananas." The point was, don't plan too far ahead. I always laughed at that, but now that I'm almost 77 and living in a senior residence, the quotation has more meaning.

When one is young, the future seems to stretch far ahead, offering endless opportunities. Sometime around 70, at least for me, the vista changed. I'm now reluctant to plan too far ahead. With no job and few responsibilities, it's easy to become recliner-bound and oblivious to all the opportunities that surround me. Two recent emails made me think again of the "green bananas."

First I heard from an officer of the Illinois Woman's Press Association, a group of which I am a member. She asked me what I could contribute to the National Federation of Press Women's national conference, to be held in Chicago in August, 2010. I can't help with media contacts (I have none), and assignments that require extensive walking or standing are out, too. I finally agreed to host and introduce a speaker (as yet unknown). Somehow, this event seemed so far away. Unconsciously, I wondered how I'd feel by then. Why? I have no known serious health problems except the usual age-related ones, but I guess I've already seen too much physical decline among my fellow residents to be confident about my future. On the otherr hand, the 101-year-old resident looks great, in spite of being tethered to an oxygen tank. Anyway, I now have an August engagement to put on my 2010 calendar--when I get one.

The other email was more surprising. As I mentioned, this blog was featured in the Story Circle Network newsletter recently, and is now one of six (thus far) member "Star Blogs." The author of the email asked whether I intended to attend the organization's conference in Austin, Texas, next Februry to participate in a panel on blogging. Well, Texas is far away, and I'm going to San Antonio for this year's NFPW conference in September, so I hadn't considered another Texas trip so soon. I'm not that fond of Texas. Besides, these conferences are expensiuve when one adds up the registration fees. airfare, and hotel costs. I tentatively nixed the idea. But then I began to think (I have plenty of time for that these days). Texas is certain to be warmer than Chicago in February, and I have no other cold weather plans. Why not go?

There was a time when I welcomed opportunities such as these enthusiastically, perhaps dreaming of fame and fortune. Money was no object, at least in my working years. Things are different now: fame and fortune have eluded me, and I've grown old. But as long as my mind lasts, why not enjoy such opportunities? My newly-resurrected motto has become Carpe Diem (seize the moment). I don't know for how long I can do so, but full speed ahead! I buy green bananas, too.

Another Point of View on Places for Seniors to Live

In response to my previous post, my brother, John Marshall, of Hurricane, Utah, asked for equal time to present his contrasting point of view. Isn't it funny how senior siblings brought up together can end up with such opposing views? Here is his statement from his yearly calendars:

"In the interest of fairness to those of us that appreciate small town America! Why Hurricane, Utah?

"Several years ago, when I first moved to Hurricane, my sister, a long-time Chicago resident, sent me and EMAIL in which she gently chastised me for hating civilization; she referred to me as a “rural hermit” intent on escaping from society. My response to her, which follows in edited form, explains, at least to me, why I am here. The following was first written in December of 2000 and it remains an essentially accurate description of my feelings about where I live and why I live here. Regrettably, “progress” is beginning to take its toll and the area is expanding recklessly; Hurricane, UT has been “discovered” and is the fastest growing city in Southern Utah; paradise lost?

"Lebensraum in Utah

There are many things that caused me to “escape” and become a “rural hermit” in Hurricane, Utah. Biologists have long known what will happen when you crowd a mammalian population into too small a space. For example, when over-crowded a significant fraction of an arctic lemming* population will run to the sea and drown themselves. However, their noble and selfless approach to maintaining the social order is virtually unknown in mammalian populations higher up the evolutionary ladder. Normally what happens is both violent and chaotic. The human approach, as we are the most intellectual of the mammals, is the most horrible of all. Hitler articulated the crowding problem when he spoke euphemistically of “lebensraum,” or room to live. History has recorded his quest for lebensraum, and it serves as a horrific example of just how far this quest for space can drive an otherwise sane and compassionate people.

"Primarily because of crowding, the major urban areas in America have become virtual battle zones, filled with directed and undirected anger. This contributes to a mentality of violence on a national scale and war on an international scale. To me such environments are not pleasant places to be, so I chose not to be there. In Hurricane, UT, specifically, and in the rural southwest in general, there is very little of the endemic angst so pervasive in the crowded urban centers. Here, you are trusted until you prove that you cannot be trusted; people wonder what they can do for you, not to you. People want to know how they can help you, not how they can use you. There is relatively little crime; there is no place in Hurricane or the surrounding area that I would fear to go at any time of day or night.

"So, while problems with pollution, both human and industrial, and heavy traffic, both human and vehicular, are factors in my dislike of urban areas, the main factor is the general quality of the social order. And, the quality of the social order depends on the quality, integrity and mood of the people with whom you live. For me and my house, I choose Hurricane, UT.

*Footnote:
Lemmings are small rodents, usually less than 5 inches long and weighing only 5 or 6 ounces. There are many known species, some living in the United States. However, the collared or arctic lemming of Scandinavia exhibits the behavior described. While the sacrificial lemming migration to the sea seems a noble and selfless solution to overcrowding, the real truth is not so noble. When an arctic lemming population gets too large for the local food supply, they migrate aimlessly, eating everything in their path. As they migrate, they swim rivers and lakes in their relentless quest for food. Eventually, as they live on a peninsula, many of them reach the ocean. They do not realize that swimming to the other side is impossible, nor are they smart enough to return to shore when they discover that.Finally, while the lemming behavior may not be as altruistic as it would at first appear, it is universally true that crowding in mammalian populations leads to irrational, antisocial and destructive behavior. For example, contemplate what happens when vast numbers of your relatives come for a visit for the holidays, and stay too long."

Photo: My brother's home, sweet home (on right). John Marshall photo.

In Defense of City Living

This photo was taken on the ninth floor terrace of The Clare. Yes, we have flowers, and some residents even helped John, the gardener, plant them. I offer this photo as evidence that living in a big-city highrise does not require divorce from the beauties of nature.

Then there's Lake Michigan; I enjoy seeing white sailboats in brilliant blue water from every window, but especially from my living room, which faces east. The sunrise is lovely there too, especially in winter. At any time of year, I'm likely to see skies gradually turn pink or red in the early morning hours.

There are several small parks nearby, with benches for observing nature, human and otherwise. For walkers, the lakefront and Lincoln Park are within reach. For bicyclists there are the lakefront bike paths. The planters in the Michigan Avenue median are filled with seasonal flowers from spring through fall; the tulips there are often early signs of spring, marking the end of the cold season. I realize that some of you southerners are eager to avoid snow and cold, but for me, the changing seaasons are a delight. Summer and fall in Chicago are wonderful times.

Of course, especially for elders, convenience is everything. Every kind of store, restaurant, cultural institution, and entertainment venue is close by, and cabs and busses are everywhere when walking is not convenient or possible. I've admitted before that I grew up on a farm near a small town, but I dreamed of big-city skyscrapers and far-away places as soon as I was able to read. I respect everyone's right to prefer other environments, but please keep your minds--and your options--open. Of course city living is expensive, and big cities have problems. However, for me, Chicago is fascinating.

Life Goes on at The Clare

People keep asking me how I like living at The Clare. My answer is always "I like it," and I do. Still, it's taking me a very long time to adjust (five months so far). There's something about moving to a lifetime care building that seems so final! Then, I am still trying to recover financially from the reduced price I received for my condo.

What's good? The food. I am not and never was a cook, so it's nice to know that three meals a day are available here (although our monthly fee covers only one full meal--I usually work in breakfast and lunch).

We have a Town Car and driver to take us places, but I've used it only twice. It seems luxurious, though. We have a great location; If I could walk better, I could walk almost anywhere I want to go. As it is, I sometimes relax too much and stay indoors, especially if the weather is dreary (which it is today).

We have seemingly endless activities available. I am still exercising three times a week, still at the beginners' level, but those exercise classes do keep me from being a total couch potato. We have excercise machines too; I sometimes use the cross trainer and the stationary bicycle. I haven't joined the book club yet, since I have so many unread books piled up to read (and sometimes review). I have plenty of time for reading, but I waste too much time on puzzles and magazines and TV. Bridge and gardening and several other activities don't interest me, but it's nice to know they're available.

My favorite activity is The Clarion, the resident newsletter I started. I have help from a starff of five or six, and I really enjoy the process of creating the newsletter each month. I'm still trying to get residents to contribute more. Why are people so afraid of writing? This is a building full of MDs and PhDs, so I am sure I'm not the only writer here.

The included one-a-week cleaning service is nice, although I no longer get my microwave oven cleaned, as I did when I hired my own service. I'll have to get out of my recliner and clean it myself soon. Package delivery is prompt and courteous. Mail and newspaper delivery are efficient. TV reception on my new HDTV is great.

I participated in the Printers Row Lit Fest (formerly the Printers Row Book Fair) on Saturday. It was nice to have Bob, the doorman, get a cab for me. I enjoy these fairs, even though I don't sell many books. The main problems this year were cold and rain. I left a bit early.

There's no way to escape aging, but a place like this gives a somewhat unwelcome look at the realities of growing old. The number of broken bones from falls, the number of hospitalizations for one thing or another, the number of knee replacement operations scheduled, the problems of healthier partners faced with the care of ailing spouses, the number of hearing problems (I have one myself) all give me cause for concern. On the one hand, it's good to know that nearby care and sympathy are available, but who wants to be reminded of all these realities? Fortunately, I've never been a head-in-the-sand person. As a realist, I believe I'm in the right place at the right time. Who knows what the future brings?

It seems to me that a lifetime care community is a good choice for someone like me, over 70 and childless. The luxurious Clare is hard for me to afford, but since I can't get my youth back, I'm happy here. Will I be so happy if and when I need to move to assisted living or nursing care? For now, I'll just enjoy independent living and my beautiful lake view and hope for the best.

Chicago Tribune photo.

Honors and Awards--Again!

Spring seems to be honors and awards time for many organizaations, associations, and volunteer groups. At least four of us here at The Clare have received awards this spring, and there may be more.

This year, I was again surprised and honored to receive awards in the Illinois Woman's Press Association's Mate E. Palmer Communications Contest. Multiple awards were presented at a luncheon yesterday at the Union League Club. I had been notified that I was a winner, but I was expecting not much more than honorable mention this year; I did less writing than usual in 2008.

I was pleasantly surprised to receive two firsts and one second on my three entrees. Lightening struck a third time when my third book, Elder Expectations: My Life in Rictameters won first in the "Creative Verse: Book or Chapbook of Poetry" category. The other two won firsts in other categories in 2007 and 2008. So now I'm not only a writer; I'm a poet! Now if the literary world would only take note. This book has sold even less well than Reinventing Myself and Seniorwriting. I know of only one person outside my family who has read all three of my books: The Clare's Dining Room Manager. Thanks, Carl. I'm glad I donated a copy of each book to The Clare Library.

Here are the anonymous judge's comments:

"Poet Styne ably summarizes the strengths and joys of her work in the final poem of the tome. Lovely!" (I'm not sure that a 50-some page book qualifies as a tome, but then I am a woman of few words.)

Of course you're not likely to have read or remembered that final poem, so here it is:

My Rictameters

Great art?
No, not these poems
Of mine, and yet if they
Just make you ponder, wonder, think
Or dream, consider your own life or write
A story, draw or paint the truth,
Learn who or what you are,
These poems inspire
Great art.

My other first place award was for "In Defense of Self-Publishing"--Parts I & II" published in my other blog, "Write Your Life!" The category was "Writing for the Web: For Hobby or Special Interest Sites."

The comments on this:

"The author uses the platform well to successfully create an easy-to-read explanation of self-publishing. With clear and focused writing the author put forth good effort in content styling for emphasis, scannability for reading and linking to provide context and additional resources. Excellent potential for more interacftivity through chats or issue focused discussions boards."

You can find these entries here:

http://seniormemoirs.blogspot.com/2008/08/priorities-choices-and-opportunities-in.html
http://seniormemoirs.blogspot.com/2008/08/matter-of-choices-in-defense-of-self.html

Finally, my second place award was for two book reviews here on "Never too Late!": "Aging, Life, and Death: A Book Review" (on Where River Turns to Sky, by Gregg Kleiner (Avon 1996; Perennial paperback 2002) and "Realities of Alzheimer's: A Book Review" (on Measure of the Heart: a Father's Alzheimer's, a Daughter's Return, by Mary Ellen Geist (Springboard 2008). Find these reviews by clicking on the "Book Reviews" label toward the bottom of the sidebar. The category was "Writing for the Web: Commentary (reviews)."

These may be small-time awards, but they make me feel good. Never underestimate the power of honors and awards to make people--especially elders--feel appreciated.

Copyright 2009 by Marlys Marshall Styne

Learning About Elders

I just attended a meeting of my fellow residents to announce staffing changes and other matters at The Clare. The meeting turneed into a complaint session. I kept my mouth shut, but I had plenty of time to assess my fellow elders. Here are a few conclusions:

1. This group is, in general, articulate and well educated, as well a affluent. (I'm probably one of the least affluent residents).

2. Seniors love to talk--loudly. Loud talk is good for those of us, including me, with hearing loss. But many tend to repeat themselves too often.

3. As with people of all ages all over, there are few agreements on anything among this group, despite the age similarities.

4. Moving into this building has marked a major turning point for everyone, and most of us are a bit uneasy about how everything will turn out. Will the assisted living and nursing facilities ever open? If so, and if we need such help, will it be available for everyone (the independent living apartments far outnumber the assisted living units).

5. Everyone feels that communication is lacking here. I feel that it's not been bad, considering the newness of the place.

6. There are too many pessimists here; I prefer to look on the brighter side. Some seem to believe that the emphasis will shift too far toward assisted living and nursing care.

7. Specific complaints: lack of shower grab bars (I have them) and long waits for food at dinner (I seldom eat dinner here). These seem to be valid complaints, but there were few of them. Most of what I heard seemed to be theories that the sky was falling in some way.

8. Dealing with a group of independent old people who are accustomed to the best must be very difficult. Personally, I enjoy living here.

9. I'm trying to establish a residents' newsletter. I think that should be a wonderful way to let people express their opinions. I hope they are willing to put them in writing.

10. My advice is to give the new management a chance.

A Comforting Return to Routine

Yesterday I returned to my old volunteer post at the Chicago Cultural Center for the first time in more than five months. My old Thursday morning shifts at the Washington Street information desk were parts of my routine for about two years, and I enjoyed them.

My knee operations kept me away for a long while. Of course someone else took over my regular shift, and I considered not returning. Still, I found that I need the certainty of a familiar place to go. Yesterday, the Washington Street security guard greeted me enthusiastically and brought me his newspapers to read during quiet times. Things were back to normal. Unfortunately, many of the other people I knew at the Cultural Center, including the Director of Volunteers, were victims of Chicago's budget cuts while I was away.

My volunteer job is a no-brainer; I mainly give directions to different events and exhibits, and to the washrooms, the Senior Center, the gift shop, and the Chicago Visitors' Center. I've been told, however, that seeing a welcoming, smiling face is important to tourists who may wander into the building in bewilderment. The building is beautiful, and many of the exhibits are fascinating. I hope to attend more concerts and other activities there in the future.

So I'm overcoming my intertia back at the information desk. Boring? Occasionally, but it's a routine that seems to suit me. I hope I get my Thursday morning schedule back, but if not, I'll fill in when needed. Next up: next Friday afternoon.

Some Preliminary Thoughts on High-end Senior Living

I've been living at The Clare at Water Tower for three weeks now. I'm still getting used to the place. Here are a few thoughts on the good and the annoying parts of living here:

The good:

My apartment is lovely, with its views of Lake Michigan and the Chicago skyline. Once I get my mirrors and pictures on the walls and out of the bathtub and one shower stall and find a few missing possessions, I'll be perfectly settled and comfortable.

The dining room food is excellent. There's no need to cook. But I have a few problems with eating here (see below).

The location can't be beat, at least for a city lover. My three-times-a-week physical therapy sessions are about four blocks away, and even in Chicago's winter weather, I've been able to walk there all but once (icy sidewalks). There's a doorman to get a taxi, too. There's also a convenient Walgreens store to provide for almost any emergency.

In the building, there's a library (still in need of organization). There's an exercise room filled with machines, one of which I actually use from time to time.

There are endless activities listed on the Clare website, although so few residents have computers that most people don't even know what's going on. Most of the activities are just getting started; people are still moving into the building.

The service is very good. Newspapers and large packages are delivered to my door, my apartment is cleaned once a week, a maintenance man is always on call (there's sometimes a wait, but that's understandable), and my extras did fit into my small storage bin (I had doubts about that). I don't have that old helpless feeling if something goes wrong.

The annoying: As I probably would at any senior residence, I feel a small decrease in independence. Instead of just going to the garage to get my car, I have to call ahead and have it delivered downstairs. It sometimes takes quite a while. Of course I use my car very seldom, and may not keep it for long. I can't leave my apartment for the public areas without giving at least a bit of attention to my appearance (I still dress more casually than most, but no dirty bathrobe or face without makeup).

Even though I recognize their importance, I sometimes resent all the emergency call buttons in my apartment. Yes, I may need one sometime, but I annoys me that one of them slips down occasionally and brings a frantic call from the security desk. There's nothing wrong with the non-slipping ones except that they remind me I'm old.

As I've said, the food is good--too good. It's certainly not low-calorie food, with the possible exception of the Healthy Choice Breakfast (an eggwhite omelet). I lack willpower when it comes to food, so I'm tempted to eat pancakes, bacon, delicious bread, even desserts. Maybe we need a lo-cal menu or a special table for those of us with weight problems. And even the best menu can become monotonous after a while. I guess I have a problem with too much food and too much choice, not much of it healthy. It's a bit like eating out every day at the same fine restaurant. That doesn't fit my casual style very well. Of course I have a kitchen. I may have to take up cooking, thereby forfeiting part of my monthly food allowance (not cheap, of course).

It's easy to be lazy here. In a way, living here is like living in a fine hotel. The building still has growing pains, and I still have adjustment problems. My basic loner personality has kept me from making close friends so far, and it may be too late to change. That's my problem, not The Clare's. I'm not likely to turn into a social butterfly, but at least I hope to get back to doing more writing. So far, my attempts to interest my fellow seniors in computers and writing have come to naught.

My main problem is the lack of communication here. So far, I haven't received instructions for using the appliances, staff telephone numbers, or a TV channel lineup. I simply don't know whom to ask for those things. I guess I'm not good at asking questions. I wish we had a newsletter to let us know what's going on. I'd be happy to work on such a newsletter if someone would keep me informed myself. I suspect that the staff has enough to do right now.

So the saga continues. This is a beautiful, expensive place to live. As senior residences go, it may be one of the best, but perhaps I just resent the fact that I'm not young anymore. Have I been alone too long? Don't worry; I'll adjust.

Photo: northern view from my apartment

The "Joys" of Moving

As a person who likes to have everything organized and neatly arranged (even though I procrastinate about such things and had an efficient crew to unpack my worldly goods after my move), I still have had a few uncomfortable moments.

1. I discovered that I don't have enough wall space for my wall decorations and art collection. My carefully-wrapped pictures and mirrors are still filling my bathtub and one of the shower stalls.

2. The three large boxes of books intended for The Clare library turned up in the shower stall, too.

3. I have a few extras to go to my storage compartment, but there's a catch: I can get those things carted away, but only if I can provide a padlock. I don't have one, and haven't been able to go out shopping for one yet due to the weather. These large items are still cluttering my living room.

4. In my office, the cable connection turned out to be on the wall opposite my computer desk rather than the wall behind it. My computer cables and other gear were jumbled in a box in the closet. No wonder I had to hire a technician for more than four hours to get me on line again.

5. I'm an avid reader of the Chicago Tribune, so of course I called to transfer my home delivery subscription to The Clare. For days, it didn't show up. Thanks to the building concierge (yes, we have one) I finally got a paper yesterday, and today's arrived at my 35th floor door early in the morning without incident. I'm turned in to the world again. Despite my computer, I still like to sit down and read a newspaper every day.

6. Since I didn't put my own things away, there are still a few things I haven't found, but that means I have surprises every day. I still haven't found my little booklets of postage stamps, for example. I seem to recall writing earlier about the tyranny of "stuff." I have too much of it.

As you can see, my annoyances have been minor. My lovely apartment and magnificent lake view (see a previous post) make living here a joy. The dining is gourmet quality; there's a weekly cleaning service. This is high-end senior living. Now if the economy will just improve, I'll be better able to afford it. I'll take more pictures later.

Moving Memories: Six Days Later

Moving is traumatic. No matter how many hired or volunteer helpers one has, things will be confusing. Here's how my packing and moving days, January 8 and 9, went:

On January 8, bright and early, the packers came, the charity pickup men came later. The packers did their job, although there were a few absurdities, such as their careful wrapping and labeling of the toilet plunger. In fact, everything was padded and wrapped and labeled, and believe me, there was a lot of "stuff."

The charity pickup, arranged by Mature Transitions, didn't work out quite as expected. The driver refused to take my gigantic entertainment center cabinet: it was too big and heavy. Only after the driver had left did one of the movers point out that this heavy item came apart (not easily) into two sections. Next day, that "white elephant" was finally hauled away.

The packers were not finished by 3 p.m., when I had to leave for The Clare to sign papers--no signing and the movers would be sent away. This last-minute closing was not my choice. I just left, trusting the mover-packers to lock up.

I finally got back, tired and hungry, to a condo jammed with boxes and wrapped items, but with my bed fortunately intact. I ate some junk food and went to bed. During the night and in the morning, my stomach rebelled. I needed to stay close to the bathroom. I was sick, sick, sick, and it was moving day. It was also a very snowy day in Chicago.

Mature Transitions representatives, who were in charge of unpacking and arranging, came early to haul away my two plants and the sparse contents of my refrigerator and freezer. Those things magically appeared later in my new residence.

The movers, who had loaded certain boxes the day bewfore, braved the snow to deliver them to The Clare early. They were back to pick up the furniture by 10:30. A crew of four from Mature Transitions was on hand at my new place to unpack and arrange.

By mid-afternoon, my condo was empty, the van was loaded, and I was ready to put my suitfcase and a few papers into my car and drive the short distance to The Clare.

Some positive moving moments:

1. The movers agreed to bring me a nutritious lunch when they went out for their own. Some sensible eating seemed to cure my stomach problems.

2. One of the movers agreed to buy my exercise bike, which was about to be given away. It wouldn't fit in my new place, and The Clare provides such things anyway.

3. The movers also agreed to dispose of my sofa bed mattress, which was ruined years ago by my late cat, Lyon. This was a relief; I hesitated to buy a replacement mattress before I knew how to get rid of the old, stained one. Problem solved.

4. The Mature Transditions crew worked long and hard to find a place for all my worldly goods in my new apartment. I would have been overwhelmed had I faced that task myself.

Next: Problems after the move and how I'm doing now.

Views From The Clare, 12/30/08

Yesterday I entered my new apartment at The Clare for the first time! I loved it. Here are my first pictures; I'll wait until the furniture is there before posting any more. Of course the place still looks empty.

The top picture shows part of my view to the east: a bit of Lake Michigan, the Water Tower Place shopping mall and Macy's on Michigan Avenue, other buildings. Had I been able to venture out on the balcony (not a good idea on the 35th floor in Chicago's winter), I could have shown the old Chicago Water Tower and other buildings closer to The Clare. It's a fine view, and there are others to the north.

The second photo shows part of my kitchen. The refrigerator is off to the right. It's not a very big kitchen, but I have my usual stainless steel appliances and granite counter tops. I learned to love them in my condo. Since I don't cook anyway, the size of the kitchen doesn't matter.

There are big floor-to-ceiling windows everywhere, with blinds to cover them, of course. I think I'll like living in a high-rise building. Perhaps that's because I grew up on a Wisconsin farm. Anyway, moving day is creeping up (January 9), so watch for further reports.

A move to a senior building is a big event for anyone, but I'm glad to do it before I need assisted living or nursing care. It's comforting to know that those sections exist in the building should I ever need them--and I probably will.

Photos by the author.

Happy Holidays to All!

To friends, relatives, and those who read my blog:

I want to wish you all joy during the coming holidays and for the coming new year. For the first time in many years, I haven't mailed out my usual Christmas letters and cards. If you've been reading about what's going on in my life, you know that I've been busy and distracted and sometimes depressed, so an account of my year would not be much fun to read (except for my spring trip to South Africa and my little book of poetry).

I assure those of you on my official holiday list that I'll be corresponding in January, hopefully to give you my new address and a progress report. Meanwhile, I've enjoyed all the cards and letters I've received. I'm off to Tulsa, Oklahoma, tomorrow, weather permitting, to spend Christmas with my niece and her family, as well as my brother. I hope to return rejuvenated on December 29. Then January 9 is moving day, if all goes well.

I may or not post blog entries while I'm away, but of course I'll write my usual holiday report after I return. Meanwhile, enjoy food and family and good books. May 2009 be a better year for us all.

My First Visit to The Clare

If you've been following the saga of my coming move to The Clare at Water Tower (shown nearly finished in August, 2008), you know that it's been a building under construction for quite a few years. That means I'd never been inside.

Yesterday was the day of my first visit! I had a meeting on the 16th floor. That floor (an office floor) looked beautiful. The staff has now moved from temporary headquarters in the nearby Hancock Center to their actual offices at The Clare. The valet parking system was operating (that suits my present handicapped condition), and the staff was welcoming.

At least one couple has moved in; the rate is supposed to be about one or two moves per day from now on. Have I seen my on apartment yet? No, but I hope that I soon will. My moving date is set for January 9, although my condo has not sold and my financial problems have not been solved.

Anyway, just entering the building made me feel better. I have been somewhat depressed lately, but it seems that my dream of living in a luxury highrise senior building will really come true. I'll be blogging about what the experience is really like: moving and settling in, the companies such as Moving Station and Mature Transitions that have helped me so far. What is living in a senior community really like? I'll let you know.

Blogging: the Magic, the Mystery, the Power

Yesterday I was honored to participate in a four-woman panel at the Illinois Woman's Press Association's Fall Kickoff Breakfast. The topic was "Blogging: the Magic and the Mystery."

About a month ago, when I was asked to speak, my first reaction was, "Who, me?" My last public speech was my Wright College commencement address in 1996, and my life since retirement has been rather solitary. However, this chance to speak about my blogs and Elderblogging and writing in general gave me a much-needed lift to help me forget my coming knee replacement surgery.

One of the best parts of this well-attended event was listening to my fellow panelists and the lively discussion that followed our presentations. The able moderator was Barbara Iverson, of the journalism faculty at Chicago's Columbia College. She is the Vice President of Technology for the Association of Women Journalists and a very knowoledgeable blogger at http://www.currentbuzz.org/.

Cindy Kurman Barrie is CEO of Kurman Communications, a public relations agency. She was named to the today's Chicago Woman Hall of Fame in 2003. Her blog http://www.gotbuzzatkurman.com/ is mainly about her firm's clients. A sidebar contains links to Kurman Clients in the News.

Mary T. Wagner is Assistant District Attorney for Sheboygan County, Wisconsin, but her first love is journalism. Her blog, www.runningwithstillettos.com, is a collection of essays about family and many other things. She descrubes the bliog as an archive of her essays, her legacy for her family. She has published many of her essays in her book Running With Stillettos: Living a Balanced Life in Dangerous Shoes.

I welcomed this occasion not only to speak, but to discover the wide variety of and interest in blogs in the writing community. Whether commercial or personal, blogs offer a wonderful way to record our thoughts. As Anna Quindlen wrote, "Bloggers old and young know that we are on the bleeding edge of a renaissance in personal writing. Our blogs will become as important to our current and future loved ones as handwritten letters were to people of another era."

Here is the conclusion of my speech: "If and when the time comes when you are bored, isolated, or physically unable to pursue many actiities, blogging can provide a connection to the world. That's what it is for me. If you are too young and busy to worry about such things now, at least you already understand the power of writing. Share that idea with your older relatives and friends. Blogging is satisfying fun for everyone. Happy blogging!"

Thanks, IWPA, for helping me improve my connection to the world.

Copyright 2008 by Marlys Marshall Styne